we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
