so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
