i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
