i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
