I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
