My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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