My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
