I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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