i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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