Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
