He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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