Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
