my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
