we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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