just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
