If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have aggressive nipples.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
