I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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