We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
