so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
