I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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