I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
