Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
