Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
