Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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