First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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