normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
