Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
