We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
