Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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