How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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