They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
