Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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