Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
