I feel great
I just peed on a car
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
