He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Randomize
