I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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