Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
