Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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