Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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