i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
