Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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