Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
