Apparently you make a good broom.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
