this beer tastes like vomit already
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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