therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
