I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Send help, water and tortillas.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
