marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
