Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It was confusing and full of hummus
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
