He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
