Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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